Friday, 29 June 2012
The Facts of Life
My group of mates would educate each other with second hand tales, myths and facts about the world. I was eight years old when I found out about the facts of life and making babies from my mate Jimmy-Rib. He came frantically running around the street corner towards us as we sat on Mrs Flanigan’s garden wall bored out of our minds. Jimmy-Rib stopped completely out of breath and dramatically declared;
"I know how you get a girl pregnant!”
"Tell us! Tell us!" we shouted back at him.
"Ya stick yer dick up her fanny and ya pump her up – and ya keep pumping and stop when she gets to about here!"
Jimmy-Rib gestured with his hands the desired amount of ballooning that should be applied to the girl's stomach area. That was it. You pumped the girl up like you would do with a punctured bicycle tyre.
We now knew THE secret!
Off we spread out in various directions to meet other kids to tell them "I know how you get a girl pregnant!" The jungle drums were now out…